Sometimes when we are 'wanting to change' something, we actually do not have that restful feeling of the possibility of it 'changing'. Nor are we feeling into seeing it, as already changed with ease and grace, from which to actually change it ......... and this can cause feelings of great 'stressfulness'.
You may be aware of what is termed The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. If not, here it is,
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
So what is change? The earth as it rotates, our body cells as they function, and breathing are all 'ever changing'. So what allows for this 'changing'? What is aware of this 'changing'? It would appear that it is an awareness, as such. What is actually aware, of this awareness?
As these questions are asked ..... do you have an answer? (ask yourself the questions again if need be) Usually, there is not an answer. So would it be all right with you, just for now, to not have an answer? If so, can you notice that through allowing yourself, in this moment, to simply, rest and allow not having the answer to be all right, there is a stillness, a quieting, perhaps a 'soothing serenity'? This can be enough. (Focusing simply on allowing yourself to rest here too, can be freeing, if you are not wanting to change it.)
However, if there is a lingering something appearing in your mind that you are 'wanting to change' at anytime, can you notice from this place of '________________' (a quieting, awareness)? Could you, allow yourself to discover with any goal stated in the present tense, what is an advantage to me of changing "whatever"? ....... what is a disadvantage to me of changing "whatever"?
Also, notice with any problem, to state it in the past tense, and check, what was an advantage to me in it 'remaining the way it is'? What is a disadvantage to me in it 'remaining the way it is'? Each of these four questions have extended/additional questions applied to them in order to free up the feelings around them, for getting into action, or not, from a sense of greater clarity and less angst, for example. They are inspired from some of The Sedona Method book, and this is a sample of some of the coaching that I do, usually one to one, and sometimes small group. (Click here for more on specific coaching.)
Can you notice in the beginning of this post, it was important to 'tune into, or bring forth that 'inner soothingness', a still serenity, innate wisdom or a clearing of the mind, from within. Anytime the mind is 'restless', further releasing questions can be introduced for opening to taking appropriate steps , or not.
So, I hope you have gained some 'peace/ ease' through reading this, and allow yourself to continue to notice those feelings at anytime from right within. Feel free to comment below with any questions or gains/benefits from this post.
Kate Burke is a Certified Professional Coach & Sedona Method Facilitator, with a Ba.Ed. in Health and Phys. Ed. She is the author of 4 ebooks on amazon, and one of her specialties is Confidence Coach for Women.